Friday, March 09, 2007

I want a Crew Cut! C-R-E-W Cut!

"tepi belakang kasi pendek nampak kulit", i told the indian barder what i wanted.

He nodded to acknowledge he understood it.

But he took the electrical clipper, put on a #4 and proceed to cut.

Obviously i wanted a #2 at least, or even a #1!

So, he went on and cut. And i went on to tell him i want it shorter.

I've faced this many times. Why did all Ah Neh barber thinks all chinese must have the Andy Lau hairstyle, or the Leon Lai look or even the Aaron Kwok hair?


"Ah neh, tolong kasi crew cut, macam tentera", i said, finally.

I want a freaking crew cut!

The body if come free with the hair cut also can...

My bad for thinking that the barber knows what i'm talking about. I should had just tell him i wanted a G.I.2 on the side and back and a G.I.3 on the top and front.

Now, before any of you go on and say "no wonder they don't understand, we also can't understand!", here is a low down of the GI number, or the clippers' number.

Which part of #2 you don't f**cking understand!!!

Those electrical clippers come with 7 different attachment; #0 or bareblade (shortest), #1 (3mm), #2 (6mm), #3 (9mm), #4 (12mm), #5 (15mm) and #6 (18mm). These numbers correspond to eighths of an inch.

OK, now before any of you come commenting and ask me what the hell is GI, well, GI is a term coined by the US Army to denotes their personnel. Historically, GI stood for Galvanised Iron, a term used to refer the German's artillery shells during World War 1. But somehow, along the way, the term GI was refered to as Government Issue (well, as in Hak Kerajaan, meaning, if US have their GI Joes, we have our..err..Mat HK?!?!)

Then, along the way, GI was used to refer to Ground Infrantry and General Infrantry. So, when someone says he wants a GI 2, you bloody well give him a GI 2!

So, after telling him what i wanted for the 5th time, he finally agreed and took out the #2 attachment and buzz the side. I could see he cringe as he cut away his masterpiece, which was my hair.

I wasn't happy of course, my top is still long. It was almost a #8, if that even exist!!!

Your brother wear Panties! Your Underwear got hole! Your mother is a man!

I refrain myself from saying anything more as he had the side and back almost to what i wanted.

Now, tell me, why is it so hard to find a good barber that will just bloody cut your hair the way you wanted???

Wait, those are called hair dresser and they will charge you RM40 for a cut as opposed to RM10 for what i had.

So, did i get my crew cut?

NO!. I'm happy he did not snip my ears away.

Sigh...beggers can't be chooser. I hope Ah Neh will get it right the next time around in 4 weeks time.

or i'll make you grab your balls and walk with your clippers on your shoulder!

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